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Awesome Second Day Too!

I had a wicked time yesterday with great buds. Doing voice recording with Kendall was an interesting -- and really fun! -- task. I've always wanted to do voice work (recording from a script) and it was actually really funny and fun! I think we make a great team for that. We'll have to see if his mom and boss like my "work" haha and if they do.. Well, I'm excited to do more!! If I could do voice acting I would be thrilled -- I feel like its something I could be really good at!!! eheh. Anyway, that plus deadwood and walks in the snow made my day good.

The night was also somethin' else! I met up with Nade, Jess, Poonie and Dan for Rock Band. I have to say -- I am kickin' on vocals getting crazy scores on Expert (insert cool guy smiley here), and then we were off for sushi which was surprisingly delicious. I had my edamame beans which were YUM! Totally full, couldn't finish -- but my awesome friends took the extra off my hands haha Gift exchange -- THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH.. Really, truly, I loved what you all got me!! -- And then on to Scategories which was also ridiculously fun.. I'm going to make an effort to play that more! I can't believe I've owned that game for so long and never actually played it.

Anyway, the night got later and later and I really didn't notice. So you could call that a good night.

Today I am hanging out with m'mum and then going to babysitting later on -- first gig of the new year, woo lol As for the mean time, I'm going to go have some delicious pancakes! Hope your new year is going great, everyone.
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Almost Over!

I actually had an amazing day. I'm sad that the first of the year will be over in a few minutes... But I just wanted to say that I really, really enjoyed it. = )
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Last Day of the Year

Hey guys.

It's been awhile since you've seen an entry from me, huh? lol There's been many journals in my life.. But somehow I keep coming back to this one. I think I've had it for maybe five years now? More? Slowly, slowly, the friends list has gotten smaller and smaller... That's okay, though. That's life. People have left to go and live their lives -- maybe not happy to chronicle them anymore. Something inside of me, though, and maybe you, doesn't want to leave that part of me behind. I like reflecting on my journey and my life through writing. It's pretty funny -- I looked at my last new years eve entry and I was about 0.8 pounds more than I was. It took me a wholeeee year to lose 0.8 lbs. Ahahahha. ahahhahah. Oh man. That's pretty hysterical.

Needless to say, I have many goals for this year. Some of it is a little trite -- lose the weight, save some cash -- and some of it is newer. Run a half-marathon, get into Midwifery. There's a long list of things that I just want to do. Experience. Enjoy. I don't know what's going to happen, exactly, but I know what I'm going to make happen. I'm 21 this year. I am going to try to make every day this year the best day of my life.. I'm going to try to make this year the best year of my life. I think this is the year of really spreading my wings. I feel ready to breakaway.. And I feel like a lot is going to happen this year -- it is heavy with anticipation.

2008 was alright. I'm glad to see it go. It had a lot of painful things to work through and push past. I can't ever forget how important it was to do what I did, but I'm glad its over with. I learned a lot of things.. That I can be indifferent, that I can make friends with someone I never expected to be friends with again, that sometimes bridges you think are burned are really only a little charred and that I have more strength inside me than I ever thought possible. It wasn't a fun year, but it was a year that shaped me even more into the person I want to be.

I hope you all had a good year, and are looking forward to the one coming -- I just have this feeling that 2009 will be a really great, eventful year. And, man, am I glad to be there lol

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(no subject)

What is there to say?

I don't really feel like posting much these days because I don't think anyone really reads them.. No one really comments or anything, and then I'm all just bleh what's the point because I have a journal I write in (a real one) anyway.

I miss everybody. I am the shittiest multi-tasker in the world  and I am also really really bad at keeping in touch with people. My professional life is somewhat in order, but my social self is a great big mess.

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Bowls and soap dishes

Hello folks!

So I'm gonna try to update more often (and with pictures!) =D Should be lots of fun. Yep yep yep!

Anyway, lately, life has been good. I love my friends, I am making my way in the world.. Doin' my thang and all that. I know this isn't very informative, but it'll have to do for now.. I can't really put too many words to what's been going on. I'm getting a grip on things though, now, getting the placement that's best for my training, applying to midwifery, and just being grand ole me.

I have found lately that art is quite cathardic, and in specific painting. I'm not very good at it, mind you, but I've been painting a few ceramic pieces, and have a canvas I am experimenting with. It's gads of fun and I find it to give me headspace I don't normally have.

Here are some examples:

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Anyway, yeah, so that's what I've been up to. I should also point out that the actual characters/art is not mine. I used them from a book and moved them around a bit/did my thing. I can't remember the artists name but I can look it up next time I go, if anyone is interested. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! =)

angel feet


In my mother's choir, they are learning a welsh lullaby. It is haunting and gorgeous, and I plan to learn so I can sing it to my beautiful babies when I am blessed enough to finally have them.

The song is called Suo gân. Here is one English translation:

Sleep my baby in my bosom,
Warm and cosy may you rest,
Mother's arms are 'round you tightly,
Mother's love is in my breast
Not a thing shall mar your resting,
Nor a person do you harm,
Be at rest, my darling baby,
Sleep my baby, on your mam.

Sleep in peace tonight, my beauty
Sweetly sleep, my work of art;
Why have you just started smiling,
Smiling gently in your heart?
Could it be some angels smiling
Down on you, in smiling rest,
With you smiling back and sleeping,
Slumb'ring sweetly on my breast?

Fret you not, 'tis but an oak leaf
Beating, beating at the door.
Fret you not, a lonely wavelet's
Murm'ring, murm'ring on the shore,
Sleep my child, here there's nothing,
While in slumber at my breast,
Smile in peace upon my bosom
Holy angels guard your rest.

And yes, I do think about these things... This song has got me in a very touching and nostalgic (for the future? heh) mood. = )

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angel feet

New Home =)

Well I'm all moved into the new place. For those of you who don't know, my mom bought her own house and we moved from the apartment Sept 30 (last Tuesday).

Except for being quite a ways away from anything, I am myself in the new neighbourhood. It seems very weird to be out of the one I grew up in, seeing as that is the only place I've ever lived.

Also weird is are my urges to be getting rid of anything that is not of use right at this moment. I hold back because I am thinking I will probably need them in the future but.. That seems irrelevant to me right now. I don't know. I just want *CLUTTER. FREE.*

Also, my cat disappeared the day following the move. 8+ hours he was missing, and I was a little bit freaking out thinking of him hanging from the collar I had recently put on him or something similarly as gruesome. Thankfully, he was just hiding and came out eventually. I love my cats.

Now!! For the best part. Before and after pictures of the new house. We bought it from an old lady who had lived here for 20 years. We painted the whole thing and also did all the floors. Here we goo:

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So yeah -- that's some kinda crappy pictures of the new place lol anyway -- it's home. And that's what counts.

angel feet

Turn turn turn

Well -- what a week/weekend!

We got possession of our house!! I took before photos, and I will post them with the afters once we are settled. There is a loooottt of work to do. No major construction or anything, but new floors all the way through and painting the thing top to bottom. There's also new window treatments to go up,  adding in new light fixtures, gutting the garden, building a new banister and perhaps a built-in closet, new water heater, fixing the fence (fixing a lot of stuff actually).. all before we move! And after we move, there's a lot to continue to do too. Appliences to buy.. bathrooms to reno.. mruahha =)

Anyway, it's pretty exciting and a totally awesome learning experience for me. I am learning how to navigate these confusing waters and am trying to be as involved as possible in the process so that I can take it on to my own house. ehehe!!

The school year has already started, but until we move (for me) I don't feel like it's REALLY going to get under way. To me, everything is up in the air until then. Once we do, though, I will be up to my eyeballs in busy bee-age. Even after we move there will be lots to do with the house (unpacking, still more renos), I also want to start going to church, school, placement, babysitting, maybe jessie's, my trainer, and a huge pressure to do well in school as I apply for midwifery this December. FINALLY AHH@!! lol can't tell you guys how psyched I am.

Most of you who know me know this but I have wanted to be a midwife for a very long time. So now it's almost within grasp and I am finally allowing myself to be excited as I should be. yay!!

Anyway, school tomorrow (yay) so I'm gonna go get ready. Hope to update more.. *wave*
angel feet

So they say



I know that the dailys didn't really continue, but not to fear everyone -- it isn't for quitting! =D haha. It's just because I've been writing in a food diary and it's just a little annoying to write everything down twice. Also, I have a calendar which tracks my exercise stuff, so I'm pretty much set on the recording front.

But one thing is missing, which is to post about my feelings and frustrations regarding this journey I am on so here's the update:

WELL! This week has been highly successful in terms of commitment, motivation, and eating right! I've exercised quite a bit (YAY) which is to say, this week I have swam twice, kickboxing once, taken the stairs and done lunges until I couldn't sit right on the toilet anymore lol but I still don't think I am pushing myself hard enough.

The reason I say this is because in the course of this week I went from 153.4 down to 151.0 then back up to 152.6 and this morning finally went down to 151.6. So it's pretty frustrating when last time I did this at this point I was down about five lbs already. This time it's SO much slower and so much more painful. I mean, I am going for the gold folks. This is a lifetime change and commitment, so when you look at the grand scheme of things, I guess it doesn't matter how slowly the process goes because I know I'll get there. *However* being that I am probably going away in October, and also being that I will have less time when school starts for exercise, and ALSO that it's just really freaking nice to look at the scale and see the difference... Arghahdsfh.

Okay, disclaimer: No, I haven't measured myself yet to check those results. But I can tell by the way my clothes fit that there hasn't been too much difference.

...I think it's a mind thing. I went into this thinking it wasn't going to work as well as it did last time, and it hasn't, so for THIS WEEK:


I really need to work on my attitude. I need stop fighting with my body and my fat, I need to accept and love it so that not only can I work with my body to get rid of it, but also I have this weird notion that if I feel safe my body will let go of the fat, since, well, that's what it stores it for. Emergency and strife. I really need to start being a more positive force, working off of good feelings instead of this hardcore frustration and stiltedness.

In terms of exercise, I hope to find a personal trainer who I can barter with for childcare hours, but who isn't a total taking-advantage-of kind of person. I also plan to go to at least TWO gym "classes" and swim once or twice, if I can. Also needed are the workouts I was doing at home. I think that made a huge difference last time.

With food I really want to kick it up a notch if I can -- I want to see if I can incorporate some actually cooked foods in sharp relief with all the more simple meals I've been making (such as salads and wraps). The food is the most challenging part, because it's such a balancing act. You can't be hungry but you can't be too full and you want to eat fruit, but not too much and just guh. See, this kind of anal perspective is exactly what I'm talking about. I need to relax. Fak!! How?? lol! =)

Anyway, overall I'm feeling pretty happy because I'm actually doing it. That's what counts =D